[Jenna's] Gang of Deadheads_a World of Deadheads novel Read online

  Jenna broke out in laughter. “But, he’s being mean to me, Uncle Tommy.”

  “There, there, don’t you worry. I’ll straighten him out.” Tommy launched around the room toward Marvin, his arms thrown wide. Laughing, Marvin beat him off.

  Patrick, on to the fun from the beginning, asked, “You want me to take him out behind the shed, Tommy? I’m sure I can find a nice hickory switch.” He winked at Marvin.

  “That’s just what my father used to threaten. Except we didn’t have a shed.”

  “But I’ll bet he had the switch though, didn’t he?”

  “Boy, did he ever. And one hell of a swing,” Marvin replied.

  The group was raucous with laughter when Diane’s voice carried through the din. “Helloooo. Jenna? Where are you?”

  “In here,” Jenna called out. She embraced Diane in air kisses with a pained expression. “With all the commotion of our place being emptied out, I completely forgot we planned a shopping trip.”

  Diane gave a disdainful glance at Jenna’s attire. “It does appear you need something, uh, new, shall we say.” A smile broke across her face. “Well, then, it’s fortuitous we’re going shopping, isn’t it? I’m ready anytime you are.”

  “Well, pardon me, but I didn’t think we were headed to Rodeo Drive.”

  “I think she looks quite lovely,” Colleen said with a hint of dislike and a glare for the woman who’d burst uninvited into her dining room. Don’t make disparaging remarks and you’ll be treated with respect is a motto she lived by.

  Jenna laughed. “Colleen, I believe you might be a tad bit biased. Colleen, this is Diane; Diane, our neighbors, Colleen and Patrick. Colleen was a godsend after Marvin passed. Honestly, I don’t know what I would’ve done without her.”

  Diane shook hands with Colleen in a firm grip and said nothing, then held her hand out for Patrick, who stood, and gave a slight bow as he kissed the back of it. “Well, it’s a pleasure.” She turned to Jenna. “Shall we go, then?”

  Jenna hesitated, her brow knit with indecision.

  “You go on with your friend, dear, and enjoy yourself. I think it’ll do you good. Take your mind off things, so to speak,” Colleen offered. “We’ll catch up later.”

  Marvin waved in agreement. “Yeah, go. Come find us at the hotel, top floor. These two knuckleheads will help move some things over, so it won’t feel completely foreign.”

  “Far out, dudes.” Tommy broke out in a wide smile. “Our own little commune.”

  -13-

  Jenna and Diane didn’t get far into their excursion. After stopping at a few stores for Diane, who claimed she needed to check some things, they headed for the main thoroughfare and a bus to take them to the mall. Loud screaming emanated from the same alleyway as the morning of Jenna’s funeral. She halted and looked in disbelief at the number of people who walked past without even a glance. Those who did look quickened their pace as if they were afraid the attacker might come after them. “Are you kidding me? Are you people deaf? What is wrong with you? Has everyone in the world turned into a coward, afraid to get involved?”

  Diane stopped and turned around. “What are you going on about?”

  “Tell me you don’t hear that woman.” Jenna pointed into the alleyway. She looked around at the number of deadheads in the vicinity. “How can you all just stand here and watch some poor woman get beaten?”

  “There’s nothing we can do about it,” one retorted.

  “He’s right.” Diane shrugged. “Besides, the living really aren’t our concern. Why should we care about what those people do?”

  “Bullshit! There’s plenty we can do.” Jenna, not understanding why it shouldn’t be everyone’s concern, stormed down the passageway. Half way to the fighting couple, she realized it wasn’t only the same location, it was the same man beating the same woman. From her years of volunteer work at the shelter, it didn’t surprise her but her anger flared. She ran at the man, lunged at his mid-section like a tight-end tackle, and skidded along the asphalt. The rough pavement shredded small holes into her clothing. The guy continued to pummel the girl’s head.

  “It’s your own fault. Why do you make me do this, Kate? Huh? How many times do I have to tell you to shut your trap?” With each sentence, the man landed another punch.

  Jenna muttered, “What the hell?” It took her a moment to realize why the slaps she’d landed on the mover earlier in the day had an effect when this idiot didn’t flinch. She concentrated on checking the blow upon contact so her foot wouldn’t fly right through his body. She stood directly behind him and aimed a swift kick squarely between his spread legs. He howled, grabbed his groin, and dropped to the pavement.

  Kate stood in shock, her hands covering her mouth at the sight. “Oh shit, Harvey. What the hell happened?” Her husband glared at her and she pushed herself against the wall, one hand outstretched. “I didn’t do it, Harv. I didn’t do nothin’, I swear.”

  Jenna moved to her right and kicked him in the face.

  “Jenna! What are you doing? Stop it. You can’t do this.” Diane stood fifteen feet away, an air of I’m-above-it-all high society in her posture.

  “You want to bet?” Jenna asked. “If you had any decency, you’d be over here helping me instead of standing there like some debutante afraid a hair might shift out of place.”

  Harvey rocked himself on the hard ground, and checked his nose for blood. The bellow that roared from him startled his wife. She leaned down to him. “Oh, my God, Harvey, are you all right?”

  He rose and lunged at her. “You bitch, you think you can kick me in the balls and get away with it?” He grabbed her arm and threw her into the side of the building. The crack of a bone resounded beneath the air that expelled from the woman’s lungs.

  “Help me!” came to Diane’s ears from the living and the dead, and she moved closer.

  Afraid the woman’s chance would pass, Jenna grabbed at the woman in a panic but her hand swiped through each time. “Run. Will you get away from him before he kills you?” A sudden fear manifested itself across Jenna’s brow. “Oh, God!” She turned her attention to the man again. Her hands clawed at his coat pockets, looking for the gun he’d threatened to use in the previous altercation. “I can’t tell. Shit, I can’t tell.”

  “Can’t tell what?” Diane asked, still standing off to one side of the fracas.

  Jenna glared in desperation. “The gun. At least help me get the gun.”

  Jason stood across the street from the farthest end of the alley and watched, but made no move. He knew there was no gun this time, and there would be no possibility of real harm to the living. Still, he shook his head in sadness. “You’s gon be a handful, I can see that fo’ sho’. I know you’s tryin’ to he’p, but you best be watchin’ yo’ step.”

  “Oh, for crying out loud. Let me show you how to disarm a man.” Diane walked warily to avoid punches, ran her hand into his crotch and squeezed. An icy jolt shot up through his body, his head jerked up, and he howled in pain. She followed and held on as he moved to plant his back against the brick building.

  “Ow, ow, ow. What the hell?” He unbuttoned his jeans and dropped them to his ankles. He looked down and pawed at the pain. Diane kept a firm grip on him. “What the hell is this? Holy shit, my balls are on fire, like they’re in an ice-cold vise.”

  Diane let up a bit on the pressure. Harvey cupped his groin, gulping deep breaths of air.

  “Harvey? Harvey, should I call someone?” Kate asked and shuffled things around in her purse looking for her phone. “Does it still hurt?”

  “What do you think, you stupid bitch?” He glared at her and raised a fist. Diane clamped down again. Harvey’s eyes squinted shut. “Ow! Motherfucker.”

  Jenna turned toward the sound of her name to see Marvin, Tommy, and Mike sprinting down the alley, laden with boxes and bags. Marvin scowled at her. She stood like a wrestler in the ring challenging an opponent, and asked, “What, Marv?”

  He peered nervously at e
ach end of the narrow passage, but the moving masses between them kept Jason from his view. “What are you doing? You’re cruising for trouble. You’ve already been warned about this.”

  “Well, what do you expect me to do, Marvin? You know I can’t just ignore it. So, you tell me, what am I supposed to do?”

  Marvin’s tone grew soft. “Look, kiddo, I know it kills you but you can’t do this. You can’t interfere.”

  “I can’t not interfere.”

  Diane glanced around and asked, “Should I let him go?”

  Mike nodded. “Probably better.”

  She gave a strong squashing compression, just to enjoy hearing one last yelp of pain, and let go. “That’s too bad. I kind of liked that.”

  As soon as the pressure let up, Harvey exhaled a long relieved breath and cupped his testicles. “Oh, holy crap.”

  Ignoring her own pain, Kate ran a hand up and down his forearm in sympathy. “Did it stop, sweetie? Are you better now?”

  “Yeah.”

  With nervous glances at the people walking past the ends of the alley, Kate said, “You better pull your pants up, Harv. What if a cop sees you standing here, groping yourself like that?”

  He stood rubbing gently at his groin. “Fuck ‘em. My nuts are killin’ me.”

  “You could be right.” Diane chuckled at him. “You might want to go get those checked, they didn’t feel quite right to me. But, then again, it has been a long time,” she admitted with a wistful sigh.

  A young man walking by noticed and stopped. Laughing, he raised his cell phone, snapped a picture, and went on his way.

  Kate stepped over to shield Harvey from the view of the street. “Jesus, Harvey, pull your pants up. People are looking.”

  Harvey leaned around her and flipped up a middle finger. “I don’t care. Now shut up.”

  “Well, maybe I do.”

  “I told you to shut your mouth.” He swung a backhand across her face.

  “This guy just doesn’t learn.” Jenna, ready to swing, started toward Harvey.

  “Jenn, no!” Marvin dropped the parcels from his grasp and lunged to step between the two. He lost his footing and his eyes opened wide in surprise when he fell into Harvey. Marvin had felt people walk through him, he’d bumped through others, but he’d never been there longer than a millisecond. This was the weirdest sensation Marvin had ever experienced. He could read the guy’s thoughts and this was not a nice man. Struggling to break free, Marv shouted for help but the words were muffled at first.

  Harvey began a wild spastic dance, arms twitching, legs bending, head bobbing and jerking around, all in different directions. His mop of dirty hair swirled around his head. His face contorted and convulsed into new features, blurring into one as the two men tried to untangle their mingled entities. He shouted a string of obscenities. Kate, again plastered against the building in fear, understood the cusswords, but the rest was a jumble of sounds. The deadheads understood it all.

  While the rest of the gang panicked and grabbed at limbs to pull them apart, Tommy began to laugh. “Oh, my God, dude. You should see yourself, Marvin,” he sputtered through giggles, and mimicked the movements. “Oh, my God. Oh, my God, this is hysterical.” He turned away in an attempt to control himself, but as soon as his gaze fell on the puppetry again he broke into another fit. “This is funnier than when you electrocuted yourself with Jenna’s hair dryer. Marv, dude, you better get out of there or I’m going to pee my pants.”

  As Harvey’s body bent over, Marvin jerked upright. It took a second before he realized he’d broken at least partially free and stood frozen in place. For his friends, the effect was like some kind of magic trick: half man, half ghostly image. He reached out and took hold of Jenna’s hand, stepped away, and the twitching Harvey fell to the ground in a silent heap. Kate rushed to him and, using her good arm, tugged at the pants still around his ankles.

  “Holy mother of Mary!” Marvin turned around to study the body he’d just occupied.

  Tommy was still struggling to get a grip on his fit of laughter. “Oh, dude, that was priceless.”

  Marvin scowled and rushed at him. “I’ll give you priceless, hippie.”

  Tommy bolted. Marvin gave chase but, as he did, he couldn’t fight off Tommy’s infectious giggles, and the others heard his laughter start. Mike called out, “Come on you two, that can wait. Let’s get out of here.”

  “Tha’s a mighty fine idea,” Jason said. He pushed away from the wall of the storefront he’d been leaning on. To avoid being detected by them, he walked over one alley and cut down to the next street to wait.

  “Here, take these,” Tommy said, pushing a load of packages at Diane, who opened her mouth to argue but shrugged and accepted them. While Marvin retrieved the things he’d dropped, Tommy wrapped an arm around Jenna’s waist, and led the way toward the adjoining street. “Seriously, though, you need to stop doing that.”

  “But —”

  “No buts, we aren’t supposed to get involved, Jenna,” Mike said.

  “Come on, you guys.” Jenna gave no indication that her wheels had already begun spinning based on Marvin’s mishap. “There has to be something we can do.”

  “Don’t worry. If it’s that important, we’ll think of something, won’t we, Tommy?”

  “Oh, you know it, Mike. But, first, we need to get this stuff to your new home and get you settled in.”

  Marvin stood on the sidewalk at the corner of the building and motioned with the stack in his hands. “The bus is almost to the stop. We better move fast. There are only three people waiting to get on. I don’t relish the thought of running with all this stuff and trying to jump in.”

  Lagging behind, Diane asked, “Where are we going with all this?”

  Jenna stopped to wait. “To a hotel. Where do you live?”

  “With my ex-husband.”

  “Your ex? Why?”

  “Oh, it’s great. Really,” Diane added for Jenna’s questioning expression, and shoved everything into her arms. “The place is huge, there’s more than enough room, every amenity I could ask for, and the fact the cheap bastard is still supporting me even though he doesn’t know it is icing on the cake. And, messing with his mind on a daily basis is the cherry on top.” She threw back her head and let loose with a loud, bright laugh.

  “Come by sometime and I’ll give you a tour,” she said. After taking a minute to consider the new friends, she extended the invitation. “Better yet, you should all come. Spend the weekend. We can break into his stash of caviar, eat his lobster and filet mignon, go into the cellar and break open a bottle of his prized wine, and we’ll top that off by drinking all his Louie.”

  Jason watched the group emerge from between the buildings, board the bus, and nodded, satisfied that, at least for the time being, he could place his focus elsewhere.

  -14-

  Dressed in a hotel bathrobe, Jenna dropped onto the sofa of the suite they’d commandeered and pointed to the tattered garments she’d removed. “Look at them. What a mess. You know, Marv, I can’t believe you didn’t at least grab a few of my clothes.”

  “Hey, I got your jewelry box, your make-up case, and all the ridiculous hair products and gadgets you use. So, we didn’t get a couple blouses and skirts. Sue me,” Marv replied, pouring two glasses of wine. “I got the important stuff. Besides, all you have to do is go see Davy and he’ll help you pick out some new things.”

  “Important stuff. Important to you, maybe. As usual. You know, you could think about someone else for a change.”

  Marvin pushed a glass at her. “Oh, stuff it.”

  Jenna took the glass and hoisted it in a half-hearted toast. “I’ll stuff it all right.”

  “Listen, stop feeling sorry for yourself.”

  “Stop being a prick, Marvin. You’ve been here a while. Well, not here, but you know what I mean. After the day I’ve had, I really didn’t want to go out tonight. I just wanted to sit and try to get used to being homeless.”

 
Though he wanted to tell her to stop being dramatic, Marvin hated it when she was sad and tried to find something that would make her feel better. Standing at the sliding door to the terrace, he raised his glass. “What do you call this? It’s a hell of a lot more swanky than the condo. Just look at this view. All the lights across the city, the stars up there. It’s beautiful.”

  Jenna went to his side. “Yeah, but it’s not ours, Marv.”

  He switched his glass to the other hand to accommodate her, draped an arm across her shoulders, and pulled her close. “I know, kiddo. But, you’ll get used to it. The toughest part is when someone books the place, which according to Mike isn’t very often. I guess visiting dignitaries for the Air Force base aren’t as plentiful these days. Anyway, other than that, the occasional maid makes a cursory sweep through. You can pretty much do what you want.”

  They stood silent, alone in their thoughts for the longest time, staring out at the night.

  “Hello?” Tommy’s voice broke in.

  Jenna turned and laughed. All that was visible was Tommy’s head poking though the middle of the door. “You look like some door knocker out of a Dickens novel.”

  “Come on in, hippie! Have a glass of wine with us. Where’s Mike?”

  “Eh, watching some lame program on Animal Planet,” Tommy said, stepping through the door. “Boring. I tried to get him to charge a movie to the room, but he won’t do it. Said we’ve already done that too much and he doesn’t want to take advantage since the hotel eats the cost in the end.”

  “I’m afraid it’s not much more exciting here.”

  “Anyway, I was thinking —”

  “Uh-oh. You gotta be careful when he says that,” Marvin warned Jenna.

  “Dude! No, I know how you hate shopping and thought if Jenna wanted to go get some clothes I’d go with her. I seriously cannot sit and watch salmon spawn while some actor drones on about it without any vocal inflection. I’d rather get a hundred noogies from you.”